Feminist horror rules call for something very difficult to achieve.
The rules book The Rules, released in 1995 and written by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, once went on to become a bestseller. For women, the starting point for a book about dating rules is that women who are hard-pressed to get their husbands, while women who are too keen do not. The book was translated into 27 different languages.
However, since the publication of the book, the world of dating has changed. Today, people communicate via text, Facebook, Twitter and Skype. Online dating has also changed the world of dating. So what are the rules of the digital age? The Rules II, published by the same authors, reveals updated instructions for the world of dating.
Never send a message to a man first
In The Rules, women were advised not to speak to the man first, as it fights against the natural order of dating – the man must take the initiative! The same rule should be followed for example when texting and using Facebook. So never ask a man out via SMS or Facebook. The woman should do nothing to start the relationship.
What would be the worst thing that could happen if a woman took the initiative? That the man would refuse the invitation? No. The worst thing would be for a man to consent and take a woman out on a date, thus allowing the woman to believe that a relationship is possible. Eventually, the man would end the relationship after finding the woman he really likes – probably someone who followed the Rules.
Please wait at least four hours before replying …
… So if you’re in your teens or in your twenties and grew up in the middle of texting and Facebook. The older you are, the longer you should wait. A 30-year-old should wait 12 hours before answering and more than forty days. On weekends this rule does not apply. The woman who follows the rules is busy and unreachable on weekends.
When replying, never double text, ie put two messages in the tube before he or she responds to the first one. Also always answer with fewer words than what he has used. For example, if he asks “Would you like to go out someday?”, You might answer “Sure, that sounds good”. Don’t answer with lengthy explanations as to when you would be fit and where you could go. You sound desperate.
Don’t answer after midnight
The rule is that men are taught to respect women. It means setting boundaries. You shouldn’t answer calls or text messages after midnight because you are busy or need your beauty sleep or what does it really mean to her? If a man calls after midnight, he wants sex, not dating, and he could send the same text message to ten different girls.
Keep emails short
Keep miles light. Text messaging stays shorter, but sending emails can be dangerous. Some women tend to chat via e-mails and ponds, but the girl following the Rules does not. Long emails make a man bored. SMS, phone calls and Skype conversations should be limited to a maximum of 15 minutes and the woman should always be the one who ends the conversation.
Never send a friend request to a man you’re interested in. That way, you would just tell the man that you were interested and you would no longer be challenged. If they ask you to be a friend on Facebook, wait 24-48 hours before accepting the request. Never write on his wall and never press ‘like’ his status.
One of the biggest mistakes is constantly updating your Facebook status. There’s no reason to tell the world – including your potential boyfriend – about your daily routines.
Also consider your relationship status. If you’re single, remove the relationship option from your pages completely. It doesn’t belong to anyone. If you are dating someone, do not switch to Facebook for ‘relationship’ or put a profile picture of the two of you together until they do the same.
Clear of rejection
Social media enables rejection in relation to the world. Exa can announce her resignation from Facebook to the whole circle of friends or tweet that she is finally single. However, never write angry text messages, emails or tweets in retaliation. The best option is to stop all communication and go out with the new type. Although the same day or the next day resign, not a month. Heartaches actually help because when you are still mentally chasing after your ex, you are not paying as much attention to your new dating partner as you normally would. So you’re a challenge, even if you don’t try!